.cshrc file.
motd. Uses
disk quotas. Allows no exceptions, thus crippling development work.
Locks accounts that go over quota.
# cd /home
# rm -rf `du -s * | sort -rn | head -1 | awk '{print $2}'`;
# cd /home
# cat `du -s * | sort -rn | head -1 | awk '{ printf "%s/*\n", $2}'` | compress
motd. Uses
CPU quotas. Locks accounts that go over quota. Allows no exceptions,
thus crippling development work, much to the delight of the xtrek
freaks.
# kill -9 `ps -augxww | sort -rn +8 -9 | head -1 | awk '{print $2}'`
# compress -f `ps -augxww | sort -rn +8 -9 | head -1 | awk '{print $2}'`
/etc/passwd, /etc/shadow, and /etc/group. (By hand, NOT
with passmgmt.) Slaps on setuid bit; tells a nearby secretary to
handle new accounts. Usually, said secretary is still dithering over
the difference between 'enter' and 'return'; and so, no new accounts
are ever created.
motd.
Since people without accounts cannot read the motd, nobody ever
fulfills the bureaucratic requirements; and so, no new accounts are
ever created.
# cd /home; mkdir "Bob's home directory" # echo "Bob Simon:gandalf:0:0::/dev/tty:compress -f" > /etc/passwd
motd.
Calls up Berkeley and AT&T, badgers whoever answers for network
quotas. Tries to get xtrek freaks fired.
# compress -f /dev/en0
motd.
Maintains queue of questions. Answers them when he gets a chance,
often within two weeks of receipt of the proper form.
# cat >> ~luser/.cshrc alias vi 'rm \!*;unalias vi;grep -v BoZo ~/.cshrc > ~/.z; mv -f ~/.z ~/.cshrc' ^D
# lpr /etc/wtmp /usr/adm/paact
# cd c:
lpd in FORTH.
motd.
Calls customer support every time the printer freezes. Tries to get
user who submitted the most recent job fired.
cron.
# kill -9 /dev/lp ; /dev/lp &
# uptime 1:33pm up 19 days, 22:49, 167 users, load average: 6.49, 6.45, 6.31 # wall Well, it's upgrade time. Should take a few hours. And good luck on that 5:00 deadline, guys! We're all pulling for you!^D
# dd if=/dev/rmt8 of=/vmunix
sendmail.cf from scratch. Rewrites
sendmail in SNOBOL. Hacks kernel to implement file locking. Hacks
kernel to implement "better" semaphores. Rewrites sendmail in
assembly. Hacks kernel to...
motd. Locks
accounts that go over mail use quota. Keeps quota low enough that
people go back to interoffice mail, thus solving problem.
# kill -9 `ps -augxww | grep sendmail | awk '{print $2}'`
# rm -f /usr/spool/mail/*
# wall
Mail is down. Please use interoffice mail until we have it back up.
^D
# write max
I've got my boots and backpack. Ready to leave for Mount Tam?
^D
# echo "HELP!" | mail tech_support.AT.vendor.com%kremvax%bitnet!BIFF!!!
% dd ibs=80 if=/dev/rdisk001s7 | grep "Fred"
umask 777 alias cd 'cd \!*; rm -rf ching *hack mille omega rogue xtrek >& /dev/null &'
alias rm 'rm -rf \!*'
alias hose kill -9 '`ps -augxww | grep \!* | awk \'{print $2}\'`'
alias kill 'kill -9 \!* ; kill -9 \!* ; kill -9 \!*'
alias renice 'echo Renice\? You must mean kill -9.; kill -9 \!*'
alias dir ls alias era rm alias kitty cat alias process_table ps setenv DISPLAY vt100
rm -rf /".
# cp /dev/null /etc/passwd